


Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die (Songfic Phanfic)

by bananyka



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Fluff, M/M, Song fic, angsty fluff, honestly its just super fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7987627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananyka/pseuds/bananyka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic: Based, not so loosely, on Panic! at the Disco’s album, ‘Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die.’ Underlined words/phrases are lyrics or very slightly altered versions of the lyrics from the chapter’s song. (I’d make them exact, but it wouldn’t make sense grammatically) The chapter titles are the songs, I switched the order once and shoved the bonus tracks in places I thought made sense, because I wanted a certain story line. :P</p>
<p>Summary: Dan has been battling his inner demons for quite a while, but fighting the darkness gets harder and harder, and going out to get drunk is getting more and more frequent. Phil just broke up with his girlfriend of a year now who had been cheating on him for six months at least, and sometimes it’s just easier to drown your sorrows in alcohol. Dan just wants something to keep him warm. Phil just wants to forget. One night, or maybe more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is Gospel / Miss Jackson

**Chapter 1: This is Gospel (Dan)**

_You can do it NOT!_

The voices laughed, and Dan cried. Tears leaking out from underneath his swollen eyelids, and sobs muffled in the arm covered in bite marks from trying to stop his screams. Maybe a pillow was a better option, but his arm would do. It helped distract him with physical pain.

 _Twenty one years old and still a failure!_ The voices mocked.

“SHUT UP!” Dan screamed into his knees, as he curled further into the corner of his bedroom floor, wanting to just pass out,  locked away in permanent slumber . That would hurt less wouldn't it.

“Did you say something Daniel?” his mum called from downstairs.

Dan took a deep breath and tried to calm his shaking voice, “N-nothing!”

“Your father and I are going out. Your dinner’s in the microwave, you know you can call us if you need anything!”

Did he really know he could call them. He never did. They never knew. They wouldn’t know.

His parents were confused when their newly graduated son decided to come back and live with them. _Tax reasons._ He had said “jokingly.” In reality, he was too alone, and the only way he felt okay was if he was with his parents, in a strange juvenile way.

Still, the voices didn’t leave, and his parents didn’t question it too much when their fully grown son came into their room sometimes, just to sleep on the couch. Sometimes the words hurt less, sometimes the words felt like knives, and they left scars on his heart.

And he was so scared, so scared of falling apart.

He couldn't block the voices. He felt limp and useless. He wanted to feel that buzz that people spoke about.

The buzz of  _life_.

Maybe that’s why he went out that night, maybe a drink would help.

 

 

**Chapter 1.5: Miss Jackson (Phil)**

Phil thought she was the one.

A whole year, their anniversary was going to be today, he could imagine her smile, the way her face like heaven lit up when the sun hit it in just the right spot.

But that was all a lie wasn’t it. Two weeks before their one year anniversary, Phil caught her texting a “friend” of hers, and the thoughts of true love flew out the window.

Her stuff was packed and gone by the morning, like she had snuck  out the metaphorical back door  of his life and never looked back, but  he loved her anyways .

He never found out where she went.

All Phil could do is wonder where she was every morning, and who her next unfortunate victim was. He almost felt pity for her “friend.” How long would it take for her to get him  wrapped around her finger, just to watch him fall down.

Just like she had done to Phil.

He had wasted almost an entire year doting on a girl who would never care for him in the way he had, and now he was left in the shambles of their relationship.

The occasional beer from the fridge usually made him feel better, but today was the day they were supposed to celebrate a year together, and that sentimental heart of Phil’s couldn’t take it.

It was like every little detail in the house that they had shared was just there to mock him.  _She was the one! But not anymore SUCKER!_ He wanted to forget. He wanted to drown his sorrows.

He needed to escape.

Maybe that's why he went out that night. Maybe a drink would help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Gospel:  
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGE381tbQa8  
> Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/panicatthedisco/thisisgospel.html
> 
> Miss Jackson:  
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUc_jXBD9DU  
> Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/panicatthedisco/missjackson.html


	2. Vegas Lights / Girl That You Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dan and Phil meet in a dinky bar,

**Chapter 2: Vegas Lights (Dan)**

The place he chose to go to looked like a scene from those old black and white movies, where  villains would spend the weekend . The dim lighting made it hard to see more than silhouettes writhing together on the dance floor. 

The flashing lights blurred his vision as his drinks started kick in, until he felt like he was  lost in a dream , floating endlessly through the crowds, losing his demons to the dark. He sank into the  deep end of his mind, letting himself drown among the darkness and the alcoholic fog that clouded his mind and judgement.

A small ray of light poked a hole in his veil of darkness out of the corner of his eye, and he whipped around to see what had caused it.

Oh the irony. The man who had let a speck of light into Dan’s mind looked positively miserable, but god was he beautiful. Dan felt himself drifting towards this ray of miserable light, pushing aside the curtains of grey, rubbing his eyes in a desperate attempt to clear his mind from the fog. The black haired man looked too sad to be a ray of sunshine, but what did he know, no one was  here for nothing after all, and Dan couldn’t know the reason for someone’s sadness.

He sat down at the bar next to the sad angel, and silently cheered the man with his glass before gulping it down and feeling the alcohol burn against the back of his throat. 

“Hi...” the man breathed out. The light scent of vodka mixed with vanilla floated in his direction.

He had no control, he just let his tongue free, “Come on, we are clearly both here to forget something, so–”

“Yeah,” the man agreed to the unsaid request.

Dan’s head shot up, his hands shook as he reached out, and suddenly their lips were touching, and their tongues dancing. The  sensations he felt, were finally enough to block out the voices muffled by drink and noise.

Dan pulled back, resting his forehead on this stranger’s. 

“Let’s get out of here.”

 

**Chapter 2.5: Girl That You Love (Phil)**

Cheers to the  girl that he loved , cheers to the  girl he loathes . 

The mantra repeated itself endlessly and Phil downed drinks like they were water. He giggled at his foolishness.  _ What was he doing? _ He didn’t care it was too late.  _ She wasn’t here _ . 

He let the alcohol  drown every sense he owned , and let his brain fog up, random thoughts drifting in and out. 

_ Isn’t this pathetic _ . Phil mocked himself,  _ What a vision he must make _ . Slumped in a dinky old club in the middle of London, a most probably pathetically sad expression etched onto his face. He needed to  drop any pretense he had that she might come back to him and let go.

His fuzzy hearing detected a thud on the bar stool next to him. Turning his head, he saw a brown haired man, with sunken eyes and a faraway look in his eyes.

The man lifted his glass of beer to Phil and nodded, before chugging it down in one go.

Phil sighed out a greeting, barely above a whisper, but that’s all it took for the man to start waffling on.

“Yeah,” he replied, interrupting the man’s request. His breaths came out shallowly as his slow brain registered what he had really agreed to. _Phil_ _  wasn’t even gay... Right? _

It was too late, as the man’s shaking hand grazed his cheek and he found himself lunging forward to meet him in between, their lips moulded together, breath intermingling, and for the first time since she left him... he felt something.

When the brown haired man pulled back, only one thought could echo throughout Phil’s mind.  Follow him . 

“Let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vegas Lights:  
> Lyric Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khwsNRJS7Eg
> 
> Girl That You Love:  
> Lyric Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fobQH8iaVgc


End file.
